Planner -v- Diary for 2016

I feel like I have committed the biggest sin ever...and yet I am feeling slightly enlightened at the same time.  

I have decided to purchase a new diary for 2016.  It is the layout I love.  It is the size that I love.  It is also....bound.  Eeek!!

I don't know what happened, I saw it and thought it would be such a great idea as my diary layout never changes (and it was only £1!!).  It is the SIZE of diary that changes, i.e. the size of planner.  I seem to bounce between mini, pocket and A6 and each time I have to re-write everything as I hate having blank days PLUS whenever I think I can leave some information out that is exactly the information I need and always at a time when I am in my other sized planner!

It is very rare that I ever need to refer back to notes as I don't really tend to write notes, or lists (other than my To-Do list - and this is now on my iphone as I found a great app called 'Google Keep' which means that it is not only on my phone but my ipad and my computer at both home and work and the great thing is that I have 'shared' my shopping list with my hubby who is on an Android phone and it still works!!  Now we both know what we need when visiting the supermarket without having to ask!)

My idea was that if I get a small enough diary then I can just pop that into what ever size planner I am using then I will never have to re-write stuff and it wont add any bulk into my chosen planner.

What I think is actually going to happen is that I only end up carrying the little diary and the planners are going to get left on the shelf...in fact, the little diary that I bought even fits into my purse!

It is even a possibility that I may never return to a ringed planner...and what do I do with the ones that I have sitting pretty on the shelf in my office??  This is not a decision to be made lightly as I do have some lovely ones that are going to be extremely hard to part with such as the two Filofax Deco's and the sumptuous Van Der Spek's - I will never part with any of the A5's as I like to use them for projects and general stuff.

Am I on the slippery slope to leaving the planner world???

Until next time, take care xxx

My custom mini diary pages for 2016

I did it and here modelled by my Guildford Extra Slim Mini is the finished result:

I'm rather pleased with the result, love the faint lines, love the simple layout, a good result!

BUT I've swapped out filofaxes already and am now in my mini Domino in pink as I used that to model the 2016 pages and thought it was too cute to put away so moved my 2015 stuff in, I like having the pen loop so I will have to try and figure out how to put one in my Guildford...

Until next time, take care xxx

Guildford Extra Slim Mini for 2016

After bouncing between using a Pocket and a Mini I think I have made a decision.

It's back to the Extra Slimline Mini for me for 2016.  I have redone all my inserts in readiness and I am already carrying out the rest of 2015 in it.

The WO2P looks like this:

I love the faded lines to help keep me neat and the blank section at the beginning of the week for notes or whatever.

As the spaces are quite small I have also devised a MO1P to highlight birthdays etc.  Although it will depend on ring space as to whether I use this or just my little stickers on the individual days throughout the WO2P.

It isn't the designing or printing that irritates me, it's the cutting out!  All these inserts are printed on both sides of A4 paper (what a waste!!) and I have to cut them out and try and get them all the right size.  The corners will of course be rounded off :)

The planner of choice is the Guildford Extra Slim Mini - it's tiny, it takes up no space in my bag (whichever one I choose to use) and fits in a phone pocket.  It holds everything I need and that's all I can ask for really.  What's the point of lugging around a bigger heavier planner when it holds just the same amount of information?

I'll do an update once I have cut, punched and rounded :)

Until next time, take care xxx

Just an update

I failed my coursework which means I cannot sit the exam.  Finding out that I failed by just 16 marks made me feel...relieved.  I had mixed feelings about how I would react and whether I would pass or fail - my thinking was that if I passed then I would have to do the exam.  If I did the exam then I would have to follow through with another three exams to get the qualification and I had to do it before January 2017 as at that time they were increasing it to six exams!  I was dreading the thought of having to spend the next 12 months neck deep in study in something I had absolutely no interest just to get a qualification that would not increase my chances of promotion or salary increase if I wanted to stay here, which I do.  If I failed the coursework then I can't do the exam which means that the buck stops here.

The buck has stopped.

And how do I really feel?  A bit disappointed that I have failed but more relieved that I don't have to continue.  I've said it before, if this qualification really meant so much to me then I would have completed it years ago.  At last I can draw a big red line under it and admit that it was never what I wanted to do and more of something I felt obliged to do.

_________________________________________________________________________________

And there it is...the big red line.

So moving on to much more fun things!!

I started my Diploma in Photography last night online and it was really good.  I am looking forward to being able to understand and use my camera properly to its full capability.  I am looking forward to getting out there and seeing the world through different eyes.  Spending time outside with nature, with my husband, with my dog.

This is a pic that my husband sent to me while he was out walking her the other day, he has a brilliant eye for photography and is really good at it too!

Sasha enjoying her Autumnal walk

I have booked onto a couple of free online courses starting in January, Nutrition & Wellbeing, Commercial Photography and Antiquities Trafficking & Art Crime - these are only short courses and you can pay for a certificate of learning if you want to put it in a portfolio but I am not bothering with that, this is just out of interest for me.

I have still to start my Diploma in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and now that I know I don't have to look at insurance law books any more I will be getting on to that now. Yay!!

Until next time, take care xxx

Custom stickers for my Pocket Filofax

I've been busy tonight designing my own stickers to use in my pocket filofax and I am very pleased with how they have turned out :) the only thing I would change for the next batch would be to use matt sticky paper rather than gloss as I noticed some of the print rubbing off when I was cutting them out.  

I spent quite some time hole punching them out!

Walking the dog

And I've started putting them into my calendar for both this year and next already!

I have purchased my 2016 calendar and went with the Filofax one as I couldn't be bothered doing my own this time, I like the layout and would only copy it but on much better paper.  I might still do that at some point if it annoys me too much!

I have lots more hole punching to do tomorrow...

Until next time, take care xxx

New Year New Me Update

Following on from my last post it gave me some much needed inspiration and motivation to action things.  It gave me a clarity that I had lost along the way.  Just an hour after I posted it I applied for a new job as a Domestic Loss Adjuster!  I am waiting to see if I hear anything back as it was via an agency that I know to advertise jobs that don't actually exist so I am not holding my breath.  It did serve a purpose though, it has given me direction.  I was very excited to see the job, I could visualise me doing it, that in itself tells me that it would be a step in the right direction.

I brought in the treadmill and the exercise bike from the shed, and I've been on it both Saturday and Sunday and have the intention of using it every night from now on...I need to get back into the power suit and I need to get back into my bike gear.

I even pulled the bike out and went for a spin - unfortunately not only do my leathers not fit by any stretch of the imagination but now my boots wont zip up!!  Seriously, this needs to be addressed urgently!! 

I love riding my bike, more so when I don't need to be anywhere or go anywhere, just a bimble to see where I end up.  My hubby accompanied me as this bike hasn't been out for quite a long time and we wanted to make sure that it was ok in readiness for the Ring of Red this week end.  It was fine, rode fantastically.

UPDATE:  I started this post yesterday and already things have changed a bit.  My hubby had a terrible day at work yesterday and came home feeling very stressed and exhausted.  His company do not care.  They do not have his best interests at heart and despite his long service he is just a number to management.  He works very long hours and has forced overtime due to the type of job he has and very often he works a whole week extra every month. He is not appreciated for the hard work he does, in fact I think it is safe to say that management don't have a clue how hard the job really is as they have their plush office jobs and are away from the danger zone.  I need to try and get him out of there.

It has made me realise that the job I have currently is pretty easy going.  My managers care, I feel I am appreciated as a person and most people know who I am and what I do.  The only issue with my job is that it is dull and doesn't inspire me to give it 100% - I keep trying to find ways to make it more interesting but so far not so good...but it doesn't really stress me out, I just work my hours and go home, I don't take it home with me.  I should appreciate my position even more knowing just that!

Obviously the agency never contacted me just as I thought.  It probably wasn't even an actual job.  It is all just a scam to get my CV on their database so they can hound me with other 'similar' jobs that actually are nothing like and with rubbish pay...just like they did last time.  I accept this is just how it is and carry on regardless.

Maybe I should just stay here, better the devil you know kind of thing.  I know that there is a job out there for me somewhere that would make me feel alive and as though I am actually contributing something to someone but I am not sure I am ready to leave the security blanket of this place yet...if ever.  Maybe my exciting life should be totally separate to this comfortable working life...maybe I should fill my spare time with excitement and memories and just have somewhere to 'rest' my brain and body during the work week!

Decisions, decisions.

Until next time, take care xxx

2016 The New Year & The New Me

As 2016 approaches and with it the New Year Resolutions it is time to take a long hard think about goals, aspirations and hopes for the next twelve months and beyond.

Life changing stuff or just slight improvements on the existing?  The 'same old same old' of becoming healthier and challenging fitness levels are obviously top of the list as usual...  And why, if we set the same goals every year don't we achieve them?  I for one certainly don't!  So what will make this next year any different from the previous years?  And how can I make it different so that I actually succeed?

According to various researches I've done and courses I've taken over the last twelve months it seems to be that in order to get the answer you have to ask the right question...easier said than done and not something I have actually managed to master yet.

What do I want out of life? Seems an easy enough question but it is too vague and needs to be more specific.  What do I want to do about my career?  Seems more direct but what if the answer is I have no clue??  What if I have already achieved what I thought I wanted but once arrived there it no longer is what I want to do but I have no idea what it is I do want to do?  That's where I'm at now...

What am I passionate about?  Depends on the mood I'm in when you ask the question!  The answers are so varied and so unrelated it is hard to 'read between the lines' too.  

At the moment I am feeling a bit bored so my answer would be nothing too strenuous mentally because my brain is just mush...but later on today I may be feeling quite upbeat and on top of things and then the answer would be something totally different like researching historical buildings, artefacts and restoration of the same or maybe I will be in the mood for retraining as a Personal Trainer or looking into Holistic Therapies or I will want to look into going into education full time and doing a degree in something that relates to Architecture or Health & Safety...although maybe something Horticultural would be nice, all that time outside landscaping...or perhaps I could go into Administration and become someone's PA, I'd be very good at that!  What about an Event Planner or a Train Driver?  The list is endless.

Notice that all these careers require qualifications of some sort or another and I think that's what is causing the friction.  Getting qualifications these days is just too expensive and with no guarantee of a job at the end of it, or that I would even enjoy it once I got started, it is therefore an unjustifiable cost.  Sad but true.

So where does that leave me?

I've just been looking at the Open University website but nothing they offer peaked my interest.  Maybe I should just be happy that there is no burning desire to do xxx so I must be happy enough with what I'm already doing?  Surely if I wanted to do something else so badly I would know what that something is, or at least have an idea??

Maybe I should just use my interest in the old buildings etc. as a hobby...just something I like to do in my spare time?  Maybe if I did more of it I would then find out if it is something I could look into doing as a possible career change?  I don't even know what kinds of jobs there are to do with the things that I have an interest in or whether it just is something I do that I enjoy...

The problem is that there are just too many choices out there and too many degrees in something ridiculous...with too few jobs at the end of it - maybe I am just being cynical but there seems to be an awful lot of people out there with degrees in something but are working in a totally unrelated field.  Why is that?

All I actually want is to be happy and content with what I am doing with my life, to lose this guilt trip that I should be doing something better.  I don't want a management role, tried that once and I was hopeless at it - I wanted to be everyone's friend and for them to like me but that doesn't seem to be the way it goes in management so that is definitely NOT something I want to do!  I like helping people in a crisis - but am not good at just listening to people (like in a counsellor type role) as I need to actually be able to DO something to help (I know that just listening to people is doing something to help but I need to actually action it myself).  I think that's how I ended up in insurance claims handling, I am actually helping people in a crisis by being able to do something to help relieve the stress but I do think that working in the domestic household claims is far more rewarding than doing commercial claims which is where I am at now.  Commercial claims are not as personal to the client, they just cause a massive inconvenience whereas household claims are personal to the client and being able to put things right is extremely rewarding...perhaps I am in the wrong job after all.

My problem is that I love my company and I like the people I work with. Unfortunately they only deal in corporate commercial clients and so I will never get the job satisfaction that I crave.  I have worked for companies in the past that I did get the job satisfaction but hated the company or my colleagues so it's catch 22.

I think my ultimate job would be a Loss Adjuster or Assessor - going out to see the clients and being able to give them the support they need at a time they need it, being able to give them the shoulder to cry on and organise the repairs/replacements to get them back to how it was before the incident.  To be the honest, dependable person that they can rely on in their time of need.  I am not sure how to go about this really as I am not the most confident of people over the last few years and I have so many self doubt for my own abilities that even if the perfect job came up I would be hesitant to apply for the fear of not being good enough or leaving the safe security of where I am now to go to the unknown, how sad is that?

What is even more sad is that I am in the perfect position to do that.  I have the qualifications and the knowledge and experience already.  It is me that is standing in the way of me.  And that sucks.  I think I have always had the dream of doing it, I did apply for a position once with a company I was working for and I made such a hash of the interview I didn't get it.  I'm not making excuses but at the time of the interview I was suffering quite badly with Labyrinthitis (and for those that don't know what that is, it's a kind of Vertigo where everything was moving and I felt so dizzy it was hard to stand, I was constantly feeling as though I was going to vomit...kind of like when you get off the Waltzers at the fairground - it was awful! They knew that of course and said that I did a pretty good interview considering but it wasn't good enough for them to take a chance on me.  As it turned out the job only lasted a few months before the person who did get it (a very good friend of mine and still is) got made redundant and a few months after that the company itself went into Administration.  But at least it would have been a taste of what it could have been...I will never know.

Since then I have been struggling with anxiety issues (extremely frustrating!) and have lost a lot of confidence and feelings of self worth.  It's a deep pit to try and get out of but I am determined to get there and I feel as though a focus would be a massive help,  Do I focus on becoming a Loss Adjuster after all this time?

Isn't it odd how sometimes just writing things down actually provide a bit of clarity.  This post has ended a lot differently than how it started!  Maybe I have had a clue of what I really want to do all along but my insecurities have made me deny and avoid it.  Wow, I think that's the most sensible thing I have said in a long time!!  I need to focus on this, I actually have a plan forming....

There are a number of issues that I have to address before I start job hunting.  The first is my self image.  I feel fat, frumpy and just uninspiring.  This is a pretty easy one to address - MOVE YOUR ASS DUMPY - I have a gym membership that is to expire on Christmas Eve but I have a treadmill and an exercise bike at home, and a dog.  There is absolutely NO EXCUSE as to why I can't get this body sorted out and the result will be amazing!  Not only will I achieve the figure I want, it will help me to stop feeling fat, frumpy and uninspiring AND as a bonus I will get back into all my clothes that I love, including a kick-ass suit that I just adore and makes me feel very confident.  As a side bonus I will also get back into my motorbike leathers and be able to go out on my motorbike - for anyone who doesn't know how fantastic riding a bike makes you feel, I feel sorry for you!  I used to love going out on my bike, it gave me such a sense of calmness and really blew away the cobwebs making me feel intoxicating and alive...I miss that so much.

So to recap:

1.  Work on getting the body image I want
2.  Build up the confidence and sass
3.  Find a new job




2016 HERE I COME....