Planners and moving onto the next chapter

New Year Resolutions.  We all make them even if we are adamant that we don't...secretly to ourselves we hope to achieve all the goals and ambitions that we have been thinking about for some time - or in my case years and years and years.  

So what is going to make this year any different?  That is the question I have also asked myself for years and years and years.

I came across this quote:

It has resonated with me quite strongly and after all the courses about Life Coaching and all the other things that I have read and researched and discovered over the last few months, it has made it all the more strong.  

I do NOT want to end 2015 in the same place I am now.

So it goes without saying that if I don't sort myself out and actually do something different, I am ALWAYS going to get the same result - by eating badly and not working out I am going to end up the same as I am now or WORSE!!!  If I don't study, I am not going to pass the exams and get qualified either!

I am arguing with myself over starting yet another gym membership...the last three never worked out for me or rather I never worked out - hence why I am still in the same situation!!

The reason for my choice of gym is that this one has a lovely yoga studio and the last time that I went to it (on a month's trial) I really, really enjoyed the yoga.  I came out of the class feeling...lighter in mind and spirit.  Not only that but being scared of water, the 4ft all the way pool is also a bonus :) They have a lot of good classes on - although to be fair I think that you have to be a little bit fit to even do the beginner ones as the aching for three days after a class does not make me want to return!

Over the last two years I have suffered at the evil hands of anxiety and as a result my head has felt jumbled, foggy, chaotic and really just a bit of a mess.  This is why I got into planners quite so heavily as I was trying every which way to make sense of everything but the fuzzy in my head never let me achieve the clarity.  I'm thinking to be honest that with hindsight it made things even worse as I went overboard...turned it into a bit of an obsession...

Who needs this many sticky notes??

Crazy...this wasn't even half the collection!

And it just got worse and worse and now I feel as though - just before I exploded with confusion and despair - I made a breakthrough.

It was all I needed to stop and take stock of everything, work out where I wanted to be and how I needed to get there, the planner world is constantly repeating this over and over and over again but yet we still get sucked in to the whole madness of it all and end up not just owning beautiful planners that we can adore and treasure but in a big stinking hole of despair as to which one to use, the guilt for buying yet another one, the guilt for using a different one, the frustration of the pages not working for us, the hell of needing to erase something that has changed - and then the dilemma of do we white it out, put washi over it, use a sticker?  Or maybe just write in pencil, or frixion or use nothing but washi....this is not the most relaxing, go with the flow lifestyle I was kinda hoping for!!

All it took was a planner that I adored, that worked, that was simplistic and useful and that came with the VDS Senior.  It tells me where and when and has room for thoughts, lists, photo's, motivational/inspirational and sentimental stuff that makes me smile.

  

This is all I need, there is enough crazy going on in the rest of my life so it's a breath of fresh air to look at my planner and see it all neatly organised and a lot less complicated than my mind makes it!!

This wasn't really meant to be a planner post and I am quite surprised at how 'stuck' it must have made me feel for a while there...it's the good thing about writing these posts is that sometimes when you least expect it you get a 'lightbulb moment' and it is like a real slap to the forehead...'why didn't I think of it like that before...." kind of thing!  I was trapping myself into a world of crazy instead of just letting it all go and starting again.

I feel that there will be a shift in the subject of my blogging in the future.  I feel as though I have planner peace in my VDS's now and I have bleated on about that for long enough as it is!  I don't decorate or do anything worth showing in my planner other than use it as above...not very exciting but totally functional.

It may be with sadness that I now feel I can leave the planner world and move on to the next chapter...and I am seriously hoping that it involves a lot of fitness, health and nutrition stuff with those magical hints and tips for successful studying!!

I will be back but I don't know what with at this stage.  

Until then, take care xxx

Creative Organising

I don’t know whether it is because I now have a room that is calm and purposeful but whenever I come in here I get the urge to be creative or academic.  I guess that was the whole reason that I wanted to create this room in the first place so the fact that it is actually working as planned is fantastic!!

I had recently decided to give up all my studying for the time being until I figured out what it was I really wanted to do, I felt a bit lost.  But sitting in this room at my desk with all my stationery and tools needed to carry out some successful study made me feel like I actually needed to study something, anything! 

Then an update arrived for the course that I was doing that I’d decided I didn’t want to do anymore and I don’t know whether it was the urge to open a brand new text book or whether subconsciously I decided that it was actually what I wanted to do I don’t know – and I’m not questioning it any further – but I sat down and started…

Obviously some additional planning and sections were required in my Malden to accommodate such a demanding schedule that now needed to be done as I’ve left it late as usual to get started and now time is of the essence so these were created – not sure what they will be used for but I have them anyway – and I am not actually using this Filofax to hold my study notes, just my schedule. 

I’ve tried using a Filofax for study notes before and it’s just not big enough, I need A4 notepaper and I don’t think I want to go into an A4 Filofax as they are just too big!!  I am in a spiral bound notebook at the moment and I am not sure whether that is going to work for me as it is very constricting and it isn’t one that I can tear the pages out and re-punch either so we’ll have to see how that goes but I do kind of like the fact that I HAVE to do it in order (my OCD will not allow me to do it any other way!) as I can’t swap the pages around.  I’m trying the ‘Cornell Notes’ way of doing it, I haven’t tried it before but so far so good, I think it will come into its own for revision purposes…again, we’ll see.

What I wish I understood was where this urge comes from to want to study, to learn more, to achieve higher qualification status – what is the point?  I can see the point if you’re young and have your whole career life ahead of you but I’m not such a youngster and my company have already said that, although they actively encourage and finance further qualifications, it won’t make any difference to either my status or salary...so again I ask, why bother?  If I hated the company it would be rebellious to let them pay for something that was ultimately set me free to go wherever I could but this is not the case here.  I like it and I like the people.  So, big dilemma really!

I guess the only real answer to this is that I am doing it for me.  For my own personal feeling of achievement.  To have proof that I am good enough and knowledgeable enough to undertake the examinations and to enable me to have those designatory letters after my name…

I wish I knew the answers…or even just one would be a start!!  I don’t want to lead a complicated life but I do seem to keep throwing myself into a pit of quandary whenever and wherever possible!!

Until next time, take care xxx